No clever way of saying it this time . . .

So for those of you who don't go on facebook I announced in sort of a vague way that we are expecting #3 at the end of July.
This has been an odd pregnancy in more ways than one. I feel anxious all the time . . .I worry about everything . . .and I don't feel pregnant. Brent had to come with me for my first doctors appointment because he too wanted to hear the heart beat and make sure something was really in there. Was it because the first one you have no clue how things work and so you take it as they come. Then number 2 you kind of remember how it goes and when things start to happen you have that 'a-ha' moment of "Oh yeah I remember this. So now that 3 is on it's way I feel like it's more of, "Holy crap I'm bigger at this point of pregnancy than I've ever been and my stomach isn't hard it's just chubby" or "Shouldn't I be feeling the baby kick by now?" and "I'm 18 weeks prego, is this really going that slow??"

It's weird. I've had sisters tell me that the 3rd's different because you know more of what to expect. Also that perhaps the worry is because you REALLY know what labor is going to be like. Whereas the first one you had no clue, the second one you sort of knew but not really and this one there's no denying the pain that's going to come. Good point, but I still can't figure out if that's why I worry so much.

Or perhaps it has to do with the fact that I might go on bed rest again. For those of you who don't know my pregnancy history (and I'm sure you feel so lucky that I'm going to share this with you) I've gone on bed rest with both of my kids. Jane I didn't know what contractions felt like and at 8 1/2 months I was dilated to a 4 and 80% effaced. With Ethan we caught it early so I was put on bed rest when I was 5 months prego . . .yeah for me. But then with him I was given the clear to get up at 38 weeks and he still didn't come for a week after that. The only nice thing about going on bed rest is that my body is slowly contracting and progressing so when it's time to have baby I'm pretty much half way there. Less labor time. The bad thing with this 3rd one is that I'm 35 min away from the hospital and Brent's afraid he's going to have to deliver the baby himself. I'm sure he could do it. He's been there for the other 2 =)!

For those of you who are in my ward please don't take offense to this next part. I'm truly grateful for this ward and how much they have helped me with Ethan's pregnancy. I don't know what I would have done without them! But I guess apart of me can't take being reliant on other people again. . . .it's hard receiving service. It's hard not feeling like you're a project for the relief society in some way and therefore a burden to those who already have so much going on in their own lives. I know, I know . . .give them a chance to serve because they get blessings too. It's just hard to do it again. But I must say it feels good to write about it . . .even though I'm sure I've lost a lot of you by now =) Maybe that's all I needed was to get it off my chest. I haven't been excited for my whole ward to know about my pregnancy because I didn't want them to worry about having to take care of me. Sure I told a few close friends but that was it. I should be excited to share with people that I'm pregnant and perhaps that's why I'm blogging about it.

So there you have it! And for any of you who read the blog about Jane saying we should have another baby and her name should be Claire?? Well we do love the name and if it's a girl (which I tend to think it is) then her name will be Claire . . .not sure of the middle name. Brent jokes about naming her Clara Net Seavers. And for those of you who don't get Brent's humor say the full name out loud and you'll get the joke =)

Also for one last hurrah . . .we're pretty sure this will be our last baby and yes that is a good thing for us =) I'll share the video that Brent made to tell our families (who were scattered every which way) that I was prego. Hopefully it works for ya'll!